it hurt sometimes



Pardon me about this very emotional post.


You know we all deal with some personal issues each of our lives. And I know for a fact that I myself is never an exemption. I have always dreaded having that prosperous life with my family that even lead me to pursue my goals each and every single day.
As the eldest, I know I should be the breadwinner next to my parents who are now by the way aged 57 and 55. Who happens to have already quit each of their jobs and is now focused on part time endeavors.
My Mom is a dressmaker and is working at home. My Dad (tatay) is doing part time jobs as a carpenter working for long hours and driving his bike all the way from Alang-Alang to Liloan (where he works) to earn just a little bit of money to support us.
Sometimes it hurts me to see them struggle. Sometimes I don’t get it why we have to be experiencing all this when some are enjoying the (good life) as they say it.
I have been supporting them since 2008, when my Father lost his job of over 15 plus years in a furniture company when the recession came. Well, we could never really tell what is going to happen. So I managed myself to get a job and forgot about pursuing my review for the Engineering Board Exam. A thing I wish I did even so before (im sorry tay, I failed you) always keep bumming in my head even to these days.
Sometimes it hurts me to be in a company of people who even cannot relate to what I am going through. Who even think of it as a mere poor thing (Looy), pathetic, to the point that I sometimes tend to hate and blame my parents for everything forgetting all the things they did for me.
Sometimes I wish I chose the hardest path to take so when I reach the end I will taste my sweet success and share it with them my parents.
I know Nay, Tay that I am not a perfect daughter. I always have that tendency to argue and question both of you.
Sometimes it hurts me to see both of you hurt. But always rememeber this (itaga nyo sa bato!) - I will never ever give up on this! I will fight for our family even if I know soon you’ll be having your cute apo (grandson). I hope he grows up to be a strong man unlike me. I hope he grows up to help and make his grandma and grandpa happy much more than what they deserve.
Sometimes it hurts to see the ones you love the most get hurt.
Soon I will be a mom. And soon I will be experiencing all this as I raise my future son Nicqo.
Nay , Tay I hope you forgive me for all these.
I love you both so much and Boryong, Shiela and Gabriel.

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